Just a tiny little update!

Woah.. Just passed my 22nd Birthday few days ago! Frankly Speaking, i dont really like to celebrate my own birthday, i prefer to accompany others to celebrate their birthday. Well, still in NS and now having recon course, gonna stuck there for about 5weeks more. Hopefully, with pride, i will wear my jungle hat at the end of the course..  Then imma take medical appointment to check my back and my chest. 

Till now, im still single! im loving no one and missing for no one right now!  Is it a good or bad thing? Cant really tell, looking from two different perspective, you get the answer. I only rmb the sweetest moment is i held a gal hand, and thats all. 

i see that janice and sonia is getting better and better. they even have their own concert all over the world. didnt have the chance to catch them live on stage. heard that their album is gonna release mid- may. Keeping track of the time now, the coolest movie at the moment is the avengers! Street dance 2 and step up 4 keep my passion on going, and if end of the world is really coming, we are about half way there now.. 

oh yeah, i also got one saving plan for myself, for the next 25years i am attached to the plan! so i can only get my money when im like 47 years old! >.< is good from a point of view, cutting down my expenses all these, as well as cutting down on foods, aka fats! XD

So, whats the current trend or coolest stuff? Vampire diaries and walking dead for me! Bleach ended, for the moment. Sure thing that it will make a come back, manga still ongoing. Naruto fighting war now and kamen Rider Fourze is the latest. Oh, and kamen Riders X Super Sentai Movie, too bad is not in singapore, but imma get the dvd if its in stores! Samsung galaxy s3 just launched i think. Iron man suit Mark 7, well, that doesnt look any different for me. Janice and Sonia the coolest twins ever and Sonia engaged! LOLOL.. >.< 

Trying to get into Uni, SIT, hopefully to get a degree in science. And for my passion, i need money time and energy, for dance and wushu.. soon after course, hopefully i have the time to play, train and learn Go with a dan 2 recce mate and continue with violin, in camp with guidance from those pros! 

Everyday, i try to make my life more meaningful and enjoy all things that i have, must, need to do even if i dont like it.. Get a better life for myself, no point grumble and siam the things.. Just make it part of your life, see a bigger picture of yourself! 

I feel so lazy to update my blog, haven been updating since last year december.... so i shall do a quick one... summarize everything till recent activities... ok.. I POPed on 7 January 2012, then had my one week break, which cut short my leave days for this year... i was posted into recce.. dont know i should be happy or sad to get into this vocation... well... the first two months in the rsta coy wasnt that bad.. though the training were tough... but is still durable.. completed my advance infantry training... and right now im having my bike course... so thats about it for army... nothing much... just that.. the pay is too little for me... tough time do come.. i believe time will be more tough after my bike course, which will proceed on to recce training... right now.. i get to stay in for one month.. cherishing it.. and i thought i have the time for dance.. i was wrong... totally no time not energy no money for it.. so i guess i will have to groove on my on... i have to look on a bigger picture of my life.. where are the fun.. what are my passions... i will continue to live and do what i can and what i enjoy... in a nutshell... live life to the fullest.. oh yea.. i happened to bought a bible on valentine day.. hahhaa.. cool right... put in my bad.. feel like a treasure to me.. but i haven read it yet... im too lazy to read books.. haha.. ok... got to go.. the next time i will update.. is the time when i feel like to and not lazy... ^^

so... i will update a bit..

hmm... Haven been seeing my all my brolys for a long time... miss them all..

And, Bubbly.. Not that my feelings for her have faded... just that.. if i keep thinking.. is just a waste of my energy.. for now... i just hope that those sucky feelings dont ever come back... coz i want to move on! Well, if i ever see her on street... of coz i will have that look into her eyes feelings... ah... you get what i mean then you get what i mean... lazy to explain...

For now, i just carry on with my life.. and do more for my family.. BGR all these... imma put aside first... have then have... if no... i also dont really care... shun qi zhi ruan.. this type of thing cannot force de... Actually, i have to agree that.. i dont have the power to provide her what she needs.. but i can only tell her that.. i can go thru thick and thin with her.. but whats the point of saying this.. Not that i have given up on her... just that... i dont want to waste my energy over this ku ku ti ti de love.. no point... Life still goes on!

Bubbly! I will stand by your side if you ever need me! I will never abandon you, if you are out of track, i will do my best to bring you back!

As for Army, basically.. just like that lorh.. Live Range Over! Thanks god. Amen! Field Camp over! yeah... I tot is going to be tough... but the toughness is below my expectation... hahhaa... not that i am showing off or my fitness is there... just that my mind provide that info... hahaha... 3 more weeks to POP... after that... imma declare that i have breathing difficulty.. and i seriously have it... and also... i cannot take heavy load... i cannot catch my breathe... still ask me to sing along all these crap.... no way... i could hardly catch my breathe.. bo bian.. what to do... my body is like that.. i want to love my body... dont want to make it worst.... so... please... down pes me.. and give me light work... and more free time for myself to train wushu and dance... if can... i can bring my violin over.. and practice too... and my Go chess... i will never be bored, so dont worry...

Wrap it up.. Xmas is here.... Civilian wear is still the best!

I know that we cannot be together..

And i know that even if i wait for you, there will still be no outcome for us..

Only if you learn to accept me and adapt to it...

I will protect you, for the best that i could, even it mean to be the bad guy and you will hate me..

If everybody in this world give up on you, i will still stand by your side..

We are not meant to be together, but my love is meant for you.. until the day someone gains it..

And fear not, you will still have my care and concern.. till the day i die~

Amen~

I love you =)

Silent doesnt mean that i do not care about you... just that i dont want to disturb you...
I feel tired... but... i still love you, Bubbly!
Really hope to see you again before i enlist..
I want to date you again... and again.. and forever...
Now i giving you space, and as well as giving myself space to breathe..

And if you tell me we are impossible, then i will then you that
I believe in Miracles, and miracles will break your 'impossible'..
for i will stand by you... for now and ever..
even though you may not be mine... but if you fall... i will catch..
till the very end of my power..

She is not talking to me...she ignored me for about a week...

If i were to choose, between: to give up and she will talk to me... and to hold on and love her but she will never gonna talk to me...

if you know me well... you already know my answer.. i know is dumb... but.. i just want to do something for the girl i love... even if she hates me or ignore me for rest of her life...

I Miss You, Bubbly!

Dont leave me!
Will you stay if i ask you to..?
I really need you...
I really love you....
Dont leave me, please!

If he really loves you and you really love him, go ahead.. i give you my blessings.
She is the first girl that i love, i admit that i like her because she is cute and bubbly~
But now, i fallen too deep for her, i love her..
she is the first person and the first girl i can tell her everything.. which means she is the key for me to break free... and i really want to break free..
i hope that he truly loves her, not because of her appearance...
you know, i can tell you that.. i love you.. not because of your appearance.. because i can really speak my heart to you.... because i really need you..
i know very well, my feelings for you..
and if you really like him, then i hope you have made the right choice..
you know i might not be able to provide you enough... but i know i will try very hard..
but since if you have made your choice.. then... i sincerely bless you two...
i dont know how long will i take to fade my feelings for you.. coz i have fallen too deep..
if you are happy.. then im happy for you...
you mean really a lot to me...
haha... this is the first time i use the word 'love' to describe my feelings to a girl..
and i dont think i have the chance to say the 3 words (ilu) to you, face to face...
i guess we both are really not fated to be together..
Coral, i really want to hug you tight...
I love you! I will still be there for you if you ever need me...

Time will prove everything!

I DONT CARE! I DONT CARE! IM NOT GOING TO GIVE UP JUST BECAUSE SOMEONE ASK ME TO LET GO! I DONT CARE THAT IF SHE THINKS IM SELFISH, PERSISTENCE OR DONT UNDERSTAND THE MEANING OF IMPOSSIBLE! I JUST NEED TO LOVE HER FOR ALL I CAN! EVERYDAY IS VERY PRECIOUS TO ME! WHY MAKE THE LOVE SO COMPLICATED? I KNOW THAT I NEED TO CONSIDER A LOT OF THING, BUT I JUST WANT TO MAKE IT SIMPLY, LOVE JIU LOVE! YOU KNOW I FEEL TIRED OF LOVING HER SOMETIMES! BUT I KNOW I WHAT MY HEART WILL DO, WHAT MY BODY WILL REACT!

I WANT TO LOVE HER BECAUSE I DONT WANT TO HAVE YI HAN, WAIT FOR HER TO GET ATTACHED THEN I VERY REGRET.... AT LEAST, LET HER KNOW HOW I THINK.. LET HER KNOW ABOUT MY FEELINGS... WHETHER SHE CHOOSE ME OR NOT IS UP TO HER.. AND SERIOUSLY, FROM THE MOMENT I SAY I LOVE HER, I EXPECT TO GET NOTHING IN RETURN.. COZ THIS IS WHAT I WILL DO FOR HER AND I JUST HAVE TO LISTEN TO MY HEART AND I WONT GET TIRED OR STRESS ABOUT IT!

11 Nov 2011.... is a good day for me to..... hmm.... if i have the chance... i will text her! and i will... say it.. though is text... but i will say it thru my heart!

can i just shout your name out loud??? if i have the chance, i will hug you tight! and why the heck when i look at other girls, i will just come to think of you... did god just put you in my heart and put me on hold for a moment..? im in a lost! God, please tell me what i should do..

I love you!
I miss you!
I need you!
But, I can't tell you!

why my heart still feel so sour when i see her! maybe letting go is one thing... thinking of her is another thing...

Yeah.... after life and death.. another level up for love... feel so shiok now.. hehehe.. ^^

Hahah... I've finally realised that im being too selfish to myself and as well as her if im still holding on.. im letting go because i respect her decision, not becoz i cant have the patient to play the waiting game.. LOL.. we are destined to meet each other but we are not fated to be together... so i am happy enough that we are just friends.. n_n and i do believe that god will give her someone better.. for me and for her.. =)) thanks jolene.. for waking me up from my dream..=)

Ive come to love, to wait and realised, and finally to let go.. im happy that ive learnt a lot.. hehehe.. ^^

whats the differences between Buddhist and a christian? i really have no idea... the way we worship? perhaps so..? but somehow, from what im taught, i see no different in the god..
i was taught that Jesus is just a conversion of other Buddha... hence, i see no diff, you can ask me to go to the church, i will worship to Jesus as well.. coz to me i see no different in gods...
somehow im that kind of person that believe in both side, i see both as god..
people from both side will think that im not loyal or something...
how bout saying me a free thinker?? eh wait, free thinker are those who doesnt believe the existence of god?? im not too sure too...
i believe in god, both Jesus and Buddha...
so, why and how do i give a definitely stand?
i know there are a lot of differences in both christian and Buddhist..
but is pointless for me to convert here and there, coz i see no diff in god in both religion.. =)

Holding on and Moving on at the same time, and expect nothing in return! <3

waking up in the middle of my sleep... or dream... whatever....
the feelings rushing back to me...
a voice in my head ask me not to give up so easily....
no, a voice in my head ask me not to give up.....
guess i just cant help it.... im awake now... freaking awake....
hah, i know if i continue this will lead me to nowhere..
but for the time being i couldnt help it.. i cant stop...
i know if i continue and might take years and eventually i will get nothing back..
but i guess this is what im gonna do...
maybe god is testing with my patience..
something the make me believe that we can overcome the religion differences..
i just need to believe that we can be together someday...
no, i believe that we can be together!
i think i get the feeling of what is love...
just give her my heart, no matter how heartache i am... i will still be there for her.....
i will fu chu.... and will wont hope for any hui bao....
right... my mind is set....
lets see how long my feelings for her will drain out completely....
i will be waiting for her at the end..
i love you, coral!