can i just shout your name out loud??? if i have the chance, i will hug you tight! and why the heck when i look at other girls, i will just come to think of you... did god just put you in my heart and put me on hold for a moment..? im in a lost! God, please tell me what i should do..

I love you!
I miss you!
I need you!
But, I can't tell you!

why my heart still feel so sour when i see her! maybe letting go is one thing... thinking of her is another thing...

Yeah.... after life and death.. another level up for love... feel so shiok now.. hehehe.. ^^

Hahah... I've finally realised that im being too selfish to myself and as well as her if im still holding on.. im letting go because i respect her decision, not becoz i cant have the patient to play the waiting game.. LOL.. we are destined to meet each other but we are not fated to be together... so i am happy enough that we are just friends.. n_n and i do believe that god will give her someone better.. for me and for her.. =)) thanks jolene.. for waking me up from my dream..=)

Ive come to love, to wait and realised, and finally to let go.. im happy that ive learnt a lot.. hehehe.. ^^

whats the differences between Buddhist and a christian? i really have no idea... the way we worship? perhaps so..? but somehow, from what im taught, i see no different in the god..
i was taught that Jesus is just a conversion of other Buddha... hence, i see no diff, you can ask me to go to the church, i will worship to Jesus as well.. coz to me i see no different in gods...
somehow im that kind of person that believe in both side, i see both as god..
people from both side will think that im not loyal or something...
how bout saying me a free thinker?? eh wait, free thinker are those who doesnt believe the existence of god?? im not too sure too...
i believe in god, both Jesus and Buddha...
so, why and how do i give a definitely stand?
i know there are a lot of differences in both christian and Buddhist..
but is pointless for me to convert here and there, coz i see no diff in god in both religion.. =)

Holding on and Moving on at the same time, and expect nothing in return! <3

waking up in the middle of my sleep... or dream... whatever....
the feelings rushing back to me...
a voice in my head ask me not to give up so easily....
no, a voice in my head ask me not to give up.....
guess i just cant help it.... im awake now... freaking awake....
hah, i know if i continue this will lead me to nowhere..
but for the time being i couldnt help it.. i cant stop...
i know if i continue and might take years and eventually i will get nothing back..
but i guess this is what im gonna do...
maybe god is testing with my patience..
something the make me believe that we can overcome the religion differences..
i just need to believe that we can be together someday...
no, i believe that we can be together!
i think i get the feeling of what is love...
just give her my heart, no matter how heartache i am... i will still be there for her.....
i will fu chu.... and will wont hope for any hui bao....
right... my mind is set....
lets see how long my feelings for her will drain out completely....
i will be waiting for her at the end..
i love you, coral!

i hope everything will be fine... im thinking of far ahead of our future... thats what im worry about... i fear that i might not be able to provide her enough.... as in $$$...

religion part to me should not be a problem... but for her... im not sure... coz i will not hinder her connection with god.. but the way.... though i Buddhist.. i also believe in christian god... this where im standing.. im not just one sided.. im two sided.. (got such word =X)

im not expecting her to visit the temple with me when i need too... in addition, i will pei her to church if she needs me.. hmm.. actually i can just go church like that right..? i dont mind if the church ppl dont mind... ^^

she afraid that we might end up breaking coz we have no more feelings for each other... hmm... thinking of which... from her point of view... she is scare that i might break with her... from my point of view.... i scare that she will run away from me... =X
so now she has to trust me and i have to trust her.....
i wont break with her just becoz i have no feelings for her already...

what im afraid is.... some illness will separate us... as in... i love her, but i will leave her for her own good... coz if i stay around i will be a burden to her... touch wood mann....

yeah... i will use the word.. i love her.. i will pour out all my feelings for her...

my feelings for her wont fade and i must trust her as well...

all these issues are not an issue to me...
(to her.. im not too sure)

And even if we overcome her problems.... i still have my problems..
i wont get into a relationship with her though we have feelings for each other, without me telling her my problems that i want to tell... it will be unfair for her...

and only she knows and dont mind it... i will have her in my heart... and tell her that im ready to love you!

Hope she can accepts my problems.. after which... i will love her whole heartily!

haha.. i almost forget i have a blog to express my thoughts... hmm... right.. im gonna sort out the feelings once and for all.. is time for me to let it all out.. Let it all out! =)

Something that i never try and never will i know...
If it gonna turn out to something that disappoint me.. so be it.. coz i have try and i get the answer...

And this shall be my first and last time trying... and hope will turn out to be good... =)

She will be the first girl that i... can i say love..? hmm... im not on the fence...
but just that i will also need her to drop me a hint...

If she drops me a good one... then i will go all out for her and love her!

And im prepared to tell her everything... but this is the part im scare of..
Whether she will hold on to my hand or slowly let go of it, i really dont know..

Just that, i find that is time for me to really go and gan gan love.. If not i will only get more and more depress... which i dont want!

I dont want to regret becoz of these that im not be able to fall in love freely..

I want to know what is love!

I want to love her! <3

Maybe i think too much or what... she ask me to pei her eat dinner... then pei me go popping class.. which in the end i pei her went for intermediate hiphop... giving me the feeling that she... hmm... yeah.. but.. i really dont know.. i scare she is the type of wanna make me fall for her then only tell me that she treat me as a friend only... thats why im holding it back... unless she say or do anything which makes me feel we are more than just friends.. i promise myself not to fall for her..

Where is the Double Hui...? =P